Visions for the future.

There have been lots of times in my life where I have looked at something, thought, “this doesn’t make any sense” and then proceeded to find a better way to do it. It becomes a lens through which I look at life. Always trying to find efficiencies where I can. Shave off a few minutes here or there on task, economy of motion, conservation of effort. I expend, frankly, a stupid amount of mental energy thinking about how to do things the most efficient way.

But, I realized something the other day.

I realized that I have gotten really good at always being busy doing something. And I’ve removed so much of the play from my life. If something doesn’t serve a purpose, I tend to not do it. And let me tell you, living that way kind of sucks! It’s exhausting. And not very fun. And definitely gets me into over committed, unaligned, unhealthy situations all too often.

I recently dipped a toe into Human Design. And as I’ve been learning more about my energy type, and authority center, and digestion, etc. etc. the more I’m realizing that so much of that style and tempo of life is really not a good match for how I’m designed.

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I am almost 7 months postpartum and I am still so slowly unfurling into this new woman that I am now. My capacity is different. It is deeper but also lessened in ways. And as I think about building the platform to present my offerings to women in my community, I am trying to really take care to listen to the voice inside of me that says “easy does it”.

I’m so much less concerned with how to do this the most efficient way. Instead I seem to be motivated and pulled forward by something deeper. Something bigger and more intentional. And the fact that I don’t know where this will take me or what it will look like is super irritating to the parts of me that still cling to my former identity and old preferences.

Initiation is not something we get much choice in. You go through a portal and whatever transforms in you during that process is what you have to work with once you are on the other side. The ways we change are numerous. And mysterious. And seem to take their time unfolding and presenting themselves to you. “Hello, this is the new version of you.” And you go through another experience and you round a corner and surprise yourself again “Hello again, yes, this too has also changed”. It’s disorienting.

So, how does this all come together? Well, there is some more unfurling that has to take place. Apparently. And the most efficient way for this whole thing to unfurl is for there to be a central place where it can be allowed to take shape. So this website will undergo some changes. Things will move. Things will disappear, and other things will be created and appear.

One thing that will be coming up soon is an online storefront. And probably not in products sense, though that might happen down the line. But I’m going to offer some cool workshop recordings and PDFs. Some templates. And a really cool way to pay it forward to your community. More on that soon.

In the meantime, more play, more listening to the universe and maybe a smidge less efficiency.

-Amber